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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 12:16 pm 
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Changed the wife's ringtone this morning.

Or as the salon called it, Anal Bleaching


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2017 4:46 pm 
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Bought a pair of glasses made out of baked beans. Bad decision in Heinz Sight.


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2017 10:41 pm 
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Went to the doctor today and he administered a sage and onion suppository.

Jesus, that knocked the stuffing outta me. :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 12:17 am 
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I wasn't sure why my doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation,

Until I saw a Dragon and shit myself.


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 1:45 pm 
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Nurse says to Doctor "do you know that you have a suppository behind your ear?" " Yes, some asshole stole my pen"


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 9:32 pm 
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After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off l decided to give up...........starting to wish l'd never put it on now :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 10:28 am 
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guy goes to his best friends funeral and asks can he say a word.

he gets up...clears his throat and says "Plethora"

The widow says.."Thankyou. That means a lot" :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:35 am 
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Location: :-: Against modern memories. :-:
cousin kev wrote:
guy goes to his best friends funeral and asks can he say a word.

he gets up...clears his throat and says "Plethora"

The widow says.."Thankyou. That means a lot" :lol:


You get some steam off yer own jokes :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 1:47 pm 
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Charlienoble wrote:
cousin kev wrote:
guy goes to his best friends funeral and asks can he say a word.

he gets up...clears his throat and says "Plethora"

The widow says.."Thankyou. That means a lot" :lol:


You get some steam off yer own jokes :lol:


Yes I do Charlienoble, but I'll leave the stage for awhile if you want to take over....You seem some craic hi. Your now in the joke thread, lets hear it. don't disappoint now. ;)


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 2:38 pm 
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was out driving with my wife today when l knocked down a guy with a Rangers top who had stepped out in front of me. My wife became hysterical after he crashed through my windscreen and lay motionless bleeding heavily on our laps. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god" she screamed. "Calm down a minute l said taking my mobile from my pocket, "l'll phone Gavin from Autoglass" :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2017 6:58 am 
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My friend cant believe hes both gay and dyslexic...

He's still in Daniel... :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2017 11:21 pm 
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Greengo wrote:
My friend cant believe hes both gay and dyslexic...

He's still in Daniel... :lol:

:lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 11:57 pm 
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Little Red Hiding Hood collapsed this morning and was rushed to hospital.

Doctors said she's fine.but she's not out of the woods yet. :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 7:38 pm 
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I asked my Finn Harps supporting mucker how many sexual partners he's had.

He started counting, but then fell asleep. :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 7:40 pm 
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The weans were all out one night and the mrs said to me...lets have some fun tonight.

OK I said, but if you get home 1st. don't lock the door. :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 7:50 pm 
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cousin kev wrote:
I asked my Finn Harps supporting mucker how many sexual partners he's had.

He started counting, but then fell asleep. :lol:

:lol: :lol:


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