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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:11 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 pm
Posts: 1066
Location: Lone Moor Road Executive seats
Bought a Dog from a Blacksmith today.

An hour after I brought him home,he made a bolt for the door. :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:58 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 pm
Posts: 1066
Location: Lone Moor Road Executive seats
Last night, I dreamt I was weightless

I was like,0mg :o


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2017 2:01 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 pm
Posts: 1066
Location: Lone Moor Road Executive seats
Some boy tried to sell me a coffin last night.

That's the last thing I need.


Isnt it great that corny jokes comes in many languages....heres one in Spanish.

Uno. :lol:

My sexy neighbour called round the other day. She said to me, "You steal any of my underwear from my washing line again I'm going straight to the police."
I nearly shit in her pants.


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2017 2:20 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2009 10:43 am
Posts: 545
Awful and brilliant at the same time!!!
Keep 'er lit, Pat.


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2017 10:36 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 pm
Posts: 1066
Location: Lone Moor Road Executive seats
(Stolen from facebook)

wee boy is eating breakfast one morning and asks his Da. Da,are we republicans?
His Da says. Your too young to understand or be talking like that, now shut up and dip your volunteers into your egg. :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 1:18 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 2:16 am
Posts: 2392
What do you call a Nun in a wheelchair ?






Virgin mobile :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 7:33 pm 
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Joined: Sun Nov 08, 2009 1:08 am
Posts: 1900
marcus brutus - "hi julius, who's doing the best deals on mobile phone contracts this weather?"
julius caesar - "O2 bruːtɛ"


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 12:00 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 pm
Posts: 1066
Location: Lone Moor Road Executive seats
I've a muslim friend who listens to the Koran on a personal cd player.
he went fuckin mental when I asked him to burn me a copy. :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 1:40 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2009 8:18 pm
Posts: 3298
I was sucking off this girl last night when I thought. Hang on a minute...


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 3:41 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2009 3:50 pm
Posts: 5825
Location: I'm at a place called Vertigo
Conka wrote:
I was sucking off this girl last night when I thought. Hang on a minute...

:lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 11:13 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 pm
Posts: 1066
Location: Lone Moor Road Executive seats
TenaciousDee wrote:
Conka wrote:
I was sucking off this girl last night when I thought. Hang on a minute...

:lol:



jesus ! :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 7:47 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 pm
Posts: 1066
Location: Lone Moor Road Executive seats
It was a beautiful summer 's day, two English tourists were driving through Wales.
At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwy rndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch (that's the railway station in Wales
which has the longest station-name in the world and which only Welsh people can pronounce)
they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the waitress :
'Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us.
Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly, please? '
The girl leaned over and said, ' Burrr . gurrr . king ' :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 7:50 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 pm
Posts: 1066
Location: Lone Moor Road Executive seats
wee boy asks his Da one day why his sister is called Teresa.
His Da replies. because your Ma loves Easter. its an anagram of Easter.

ok thanks Da says the wee boy.

no problem Alan. :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Thu May 11, 2017 9:07 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 pm
Posts: 1066
Location: Lone Moor Road Executive seats
cousin kev wrote:
TenaciousDee wrote:
Conka wrote:
I was sucking off this girl last night when I thought. Hang on a minute...

:lol:



jesus ! :lol:



My Thai girlfriend assured me that a small penis should never be an issue in a loving relationship.

I still wish she didn’t have one though :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Fri May 12, 2017 1:03 am 
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Joined: Sun Nov 08, 2009 1:08 am
Posts: 1900
bloody russian dolls. they're so fucking full of themselves


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Mon May 29, 2017 10:57 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 pm
Posts: 1066
Location: Lone Moor Road Executive seats
There's a Polish lad standing out the street singing I want to know what love is.....

Bloody Foreigner. :lol:


Cop stops a guy for speeding after chasing him for miles.

He approaches the car and asks......have you any idea how fuckin fast you were driving?
guy says...I think about 140mph.
cop says you'd better have a bloody good reason why your driving like that.
In fact if you manage one..I'll let it go.

guy says,actually I have...you see a few months ago, my wife left me for a policeman. and I just seen these flashing blue lights behind me and I thought...fuck! he's bringing her back. :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2017 4:48 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 pm
Posts: 1066
Location: Lone Moor Road Executive seats
Reporter: So,Roger(Federer).Whats the advantages of living in Switzerland?

Roger: Well, for a start. The flag is a big plus. :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:10 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 pm
Posts: 1066
Location: Lone Moor Road Executive seats
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?

Steven.


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 10:26 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 pm
Posts: 1066
Location: Lone Moor Road Executive seats
My therapist told me "Write letters to the people you hate, and then burn them." Did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.



I've been torturing a centipede for 98 days.

It's on its last legs now.


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 Post subject: Re: Joke.
 Post Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2017 11:52 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 pm
Posts: 1066
Location: Lone Moor Road Executive seats
and in other news.

Derrys local bondage club was robbed last night.
We were all tied up and left bound and gagged.

We fuckin loved it. :lol: :lol:


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